There's been a lot of sadness this week.
A dozen or so therapy horses and some other animals died in a barn fire by my work.
Yesterday my Uncle's ex girlfriend, Lisa, laid down in front of an oncoming train. She's the second person I've known to end their life. Death is never an easy thing, but there's something different about it when it's self inflicted. When someone makes their mind up that they just can't do it anymore and resorts to drastic measures. I wish I could know when people felt this low, this hopeless, this done. I wish I could do something, say something, before it's too late. To tell them they are loved, that everything will be okay. I'd like to think a lot of people feel this way. That's the sad thing about life and depression and mental illness though. Most people don't realize things until it's too late.
A family friend of Kyle's also died yesterday due to a bone infection. Another young person gone, far, far too soon. He also was one that felt very unloved, and only now are people pouring out their love and affection on his Facebook wall. I wish they would have shared this love with him when he was still alive. Maybe he would've been stronger, fought harder, took better care of himself. Maybe not. Maybe though, and probably, he would have at least gone knowing people cared, that he was in our hearts. I never personally got to meet him, but I knew about him and cared about his well being and just as another human being. He was very well loved by Kyle's mom and family. I'm happy he had that and knew that much.
Please, let everyone you care about know how you feel. Don't be scared. Don't be worried. Don't be embarrassed. Just do it. It makes everyone's life go a little better, go a little smoother knowing they are loved. Knowing they are cared for. Smile at everyone you pass. Even if they look grumpy and hateful. Smile at them extra big. They probably need it the most. Life is short. It really, really is. Any of us could go at anytime. It's a scary, scary thought that I am battling with this week. Trying not to let the fear get to me and overtake me.
Let us be happy in this life. Let us smile, cry when we need to, hug each other, love each other. Love wins. Just love each other, and while your out loving, don't forget to love yourself.
Currents
LOVING: Lauren Oliver! I've just finished reading Delirium, and I am itching to start Pandemonium, or Hana (a short accessory story in the series). I haven't decided which to read first, I am leaning towards Hana though. The only reason I haven't started it yet is because I've vowed to get some schoolwork finished before I even dare put it on my Kindle!
THINKING ABOUT: Family. We have a lot of family members who come to visit and stay the night with us. I really love it and think it's really fun. Kyle and I both grew up in big families so I think it's only natural for us to have a lot of people around at times. I am grateful that people want to come over, and spend so much time with us!
WORKING ON: Homework owns me. Every single week. Every Sunday I am rushing to catch up.
ANTICIPATING: I really want to get Netflix and catch up on all of the seasons I've missed of Grey's Anatomy (assuming they have it on there).
WATCHING: Roseanne. I will always love that show. It's the best.
READING: Currently between books as stated above! :)
WISHING: I am wishing for warm weather. The wind and cold have been particularly bad today, and I am just so, so ready for spring, flip flops, and some warmer temps.
BEST PURCHASE: My very first laptop. I adore it, and it sure has made school life, reading blogs, and playing Runescape a lot easier!
THINKING ABOUT: Family. We have a lot of family members who come to visit and stay the night with us. I really love it and think it's really fun. Kyle and I both grew up in big families so I think it's only natural for us to have a lot of people around at times. I am grateful that people want to come over, and spend so much time with us!
WORKING ON: Homework owns me. Every single week. Every Sunday I am rushing to catch up.
ANTICIPATING: I really want to get Netflix and catch up on all of the seasons I've missed of Grey's Anatomy (assuming they have it on there).
WATCHING: Roseanne. I will always love that show. It's the best.
READING: Currently between books as stated above! :)
WISHING: I am wishing for warm weather. The wind and cold have been particularly bad today, and I am just so, so ready for spring, flip flops, and some warmer temps.
BEST PURCHASE: My very first laptop. I adore it, and it sure has made school life, reading blogs, and playing Runescape a lot easier!
Embrace it, don't destory it.
Everyone is created differently. We have different genes, appearances, traits, habits, thoughts, predispositions to things. Not all of it is always good, but it's what teaches us the most. It's really sad to me that instead of acknowledging our differences in a positive light, encouraging them, embracing them, and loving other people in spite of the bad stuff, we instead judge people, tear them down, and think our differences are somehow better. I think the world would be a better place if everyone just loved a little bit more, in spite of everything and in spite of mistakes, and nothing will ever change my mind about it.
ABC's Of Me
I still do not have a proper "About Me" page (I must work on that!). So I thought it would be fun to do this quick little MeMe, I'm not sure how well it'll translate into getting to know me, but we'll give it a shot!
A. Age: 25
B. Bed size: A full size.
C. Chore that you hate: Putting away laundry. No other chore bothers me than this. I'd rather clean toilets.
D. Dogs: We don't currently have any dogs, or pets at all for that matter. We gave our chihuahua away to a family member when we moved here.
E. Essential start to your day: Hitting the snooze button as many times as I can get away with.
F. Favorite color: I could never pick just one. I really love all colors but am most drawn to white, black, gray, pink, and green. You know, to name a few.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver only, please.
H. Height: 5′7".
I. Instruments you play: I do not play any instruments.
J. Job title: Mom, Wife, Guest Room Attendant (which is a nicer way of saying housekeeper or maid in the hotel industry), and a medical student.
K. Kids: Phoenix & Solaris (twins), Kadence (my step-daughter)
L. Live: Ohio.
M. Mother’s name: Jennifer.
N. Nicknames: Manda.
O. Overnight hospital stays: When they boys were born, 3 nights I believe we stayed.
P. Pet peeves: Lying, eating loudly, and any negativity whatsoever.
Q. Quote from a movie: "There are plenty of ways to die but you have to find one to live" from The Blind One.
R. Right or left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: 3 brothers, 2 sisters.
T. Time: Early morning, and late night.
U. Ultimate Vacation: Savannah, Georgia. My fascination with this place will never end.
V. Vegetable you hate: Brussel sprouts, they are absolutely disgusting.
W. What makes you run late: Hitting the snooze button too many times.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Tooth X-rays and a more recent X-ray on my foot.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Brownies and Cookies. I don't know how to cook, but my husband is an excellent cook so I leave that to him and I make the desserts and treats.
Z. Zoo animal: Koalas and Giraffes. So cute.
A. Age: 25
B. Bed size: A full size.
C. Chore that you hate: Putting away laundry. No other chore bothers me than this. I'd rather clean toilets.
D. Dogs: We don't currently have any dogs, or pets at all for that matter. We gave our chihuahua away to a family member when we moved here.
E. Essential start to your day: Hitting the snooze button as many times as I can get away with.
F. Favorite color: I could never pick just one. I really love all colors but am most drawn to white, black, gray, pink, and green. You know, to name a few.
G. Gold or Silver: Silver only, please.
H. Height: 5′7".
I. Instruments you play: I do not play any instruments.
J. Job title: Mom, Wife, Guest Room Attendant (which is a nicer way of saying housekeeper or maid in the hotel industry), and a medical student.
K. Kids: Phoenix & Solaris (twins), Kadence (my step-daughter)
L. Live: Ohio.
M. Mother’s name: Jennifer.
N. Nicknames: Manda.
O. Overnight hospital stays: When they boys were born, 3 nights I believe we stayed.
P. Pet peeves: Lying, eating loudly, and any negativity whatsoever.
Q. Quote from a movie: "There are plenty of ways to die but you have to find one to live" from The Blind One.
R. Right or left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: 3 brothers, 2 sisters.
T. Time: Early morning, and late night.
U. Ultimate Vacation: Savannah, Georgia. My fascination with this place will never end.
V. Vegetable you hate: Brussel sprouts, they are absolutely disgusting.
W. What makes you run late: Hitting the snooze button too many times.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: Tooth X-rays and a more recent X-ray on my foot.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Brownies and Cookies. I don't know how to cook, but my husband is an excellent cook so I leave that to him and I make the desserts and treats.
Z. Zoo animal: Koalas and Giraffes. So cute.
Some Goals for March
We are already on the 12th day of March but I've been thinking a lot lately, and although the month is already half over, I still have a few goals I'd like to work on and accomplish this month. If I really thought of it, I could think of a ton of things I'd like to accomplish this month. I am going to try to keep a nice, short list though as it'll be easier to work through, and less intimidating. April may bring it's own set of goals, and I'm sure it will.
Some things I'd like to accomplish this month:
Get our bedroom and closet organized • Truth be told, we are hardly ever in our bedroom unless it's to get clothes. Most of the time we don't even sleep in there because I have a problem sleeping without a TV on and we currently don't have a TV in there (we should soon though!). So, needless to say in the housekeeping department the bedroom gets little to no attention and there's an awful mess just scattered about our floor. Same for our closet. We have a nice, walk-in closet that I love, but at the moment it's a bit hard to love with the mess I've let it become. Once it gets nice & tidy, it'll be like a breath of fresh air. I am a bit of a neat freak and it's really been bothering me not having made the time to take care of this, so the simple act of knowing it's clean regardless of how much time I spend in there, will be refreshing.
Begin and maintain a fitness plan • This is something I've wanted and have planned to do for a long time now. I have a ton of ideas and suggestions and exercise routines pinned on Pinterest, and beyond hitting the "PIN!" button, I've done absolutely nothing with these guidelines, and I'm not really sure why. I'd really like to start a workout routine and start getting more fit and lean, and have even considered joining a gym in the near future. I'd like to start at home first though, and well...I'm really not sure what I'm waiting for! There's no time like the present.
Turn in all assignments on time and strive for the best possible grades I can • I try my hardest to be a good student, and education is something that is VERY important to me. With the constraints of work, family, errands, etc. etc. I can easily procrastinate and then when I get around to doing my assignments I don't always necessarily put my best foot forward because by that time I am feeling pretty rushed. So this is changing immediately. This last week doesn't count though, okay? I had some technical difficulties going on which lead to some late and rushed work. Phoenix got water on and killed our cable modem, so I went to Kyle's Gram's to finish my assignments and with my luck the website went down!
Even though this is a short list, I think it's still pretty ambitious (for me at least). I hope and plan to find the time I can to do these things and do them well without having to sacrifice anything else. I just need to get some better time management habits and I think from there hopefully everything will start to flow nicely, although I will always expect some speed bumps to appear.
I will be doing an update on this post around the first of April to see what my progress has been, plus putting it up here in the public to everyone helps me to be extra accountable! ;)
Some things I'd like to accomplish this month:
Get our bedroom and closet organized • Truth be told, we are hardly ever in our bedroom unless it's to get clothes. Most of the time we don't even sleep in there because I have a problem sleeping without a TV on and we currently don't have a TV in there (we should soon though!). So, needless to say in the housekeeping department the bedroom gets little to no attention and there's an awful mess just scattered about our floor. Same for our closet. We have a nice, walk-in closet that I love, but at the moment it's a bit hard to love with the mess I've let it become. Once it gets nice & tidy, it'll be like a breath of fresh air. I am a bit of a neat freak and it's really been bothering me not having made the time to take care of this, so the simple act of knowing it's clean regardless of how much time I spend in there, will be refreshing.
Begin and maintain a fitness plan • This is something I've wanted and have planned to do for a long time now. I have a ton of ideas and suggestions and exercise routines pinned on Pinterest, and beyond hitting the "PIN!" button, I've done absolutely nothing with these guidelines, and I'm not really sure why. I'd really like to start a workout routine and start getting more fit and lean, and have even considered joining a gym in the near future. I'd like to start at home first though, and well...I'm really not sure what I'm waiting for! There's no time like the present.
Turn in all assignments on time and strive for the best possible grades I can • I try my hardest to be a good student, and education is something that is VERY important to me. With the constraints of work, family, errands, etc. etc. I can easily procrastinate and then when I get around to doing my assignments I don't always necessarily put my best foot forward because by that time I am feeling pretty rushed. So this is changing immediately. This last week doesn't count though, okay? I had some technical difficulties going on which lead to some late and rushed work. Phoenix got water on and killed our cable modem, so I went to Kyle's Gram's to finish my assignments and with my luck the website went down!
Even though this is a short list, I think it's still pretty ambitious (for me at least). I hope and plan to find the time I can to do these things and do them well without having to sacrifice anything else. I just need to get some better time management habits and I think from there hopefully everything will start to flow nicely, although I will always expect some speed bumps to appear.
I will be doing an update on this post around the first of April to see what my progress has been, plus putting it up here in the public to everyone helps me to be extra accountable! ;)
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